I wanted to add one more perspective to the Stern/secular college debate, since I began my studies at Stern and then transferred to Barnard after one year. Mrs. Knoll, Mrs. Sinensky, Mrs. Appel, Jenn, and Rachel have all made excellent points, and it’s clear that everyone approaches this topic from a different vantage point.
Which is why I agree so strongly with Ms. Appel: this is a deeply personal decision. It is based on many factors, some of them tangible and some of them not. At the end of the day, this decision comes from your gut: where will you be happiest spending 3-4 years of your life? Which imperfect environment—for all colleges are imperfect—will fulfill your needs in the best way?
Mrs. Knoll mentions the need to seriously consider the incredible learning opportunities Stern offers, and what you might lose by choosing another school. I could not agree more. The learning at Stern is stellar, and was the number one reason I hesitated leaving Stern. It is also the reason I enrolled in the Stern Graduate Talmud Program after graduating from Barnard. Throughout my three years in Barnard, I was fully aware of what I had given up: making the time for regular chavrutas was a huge challenge (consider how difficult it is to learn for two hours when you have two midterms the next day!), and though I devoted a lot of time and effort to learning, learning on your own is just not the same as having a formal shiur that truly holds you responsible for the material.
That said, I have to agree with Rachel that the passion of the committed Jewish students on campus is truly inspiring. People learned at all hours of the day, juggling heavy workloads with regular chavrutas and shiurim, not to mention other important educational and social Hillel programs and other commitments. Learning was a major priority of my secular college Orthodox community; though I sacrificed the rigor of a truly formal shiur by leaving Stern, never once did I feel I sacrificed a religiously motivated group of friends. (And it always seemed to me that Ma’ayanot graduates were the best prepared for continuing their learning on their own!)
However, all of this comes with one major caveat: I went to a school with a large Orthodox community. Finding religious passion and widespread commitment to learning and growth is certainly not this easy on every campus; in fact, on most campuses, it is much harder. I benefited tremendously from motivating myself, and from interacting with people different from myself, both Jewish and non-Jewish, but I always had a strong group of Orthodox friends. I agree with Ms. Appel that there is little value in challenge for challenge's sake. When making a decision about college, realize how much of a difference having like-minded friends will make. Three to four years is a long time to do something if you don’t have a lot of support.
One other point: Mrs. Knoll mentioned the issue of prioritizing either your secular or Judaic Studies education in deciding where to go to college. When I was making my decision, I really struggled with this issue: did going to secular college mean I didn’t value learning as much as I valued my secular education? In the end, I decided that even though learning was one of the most important things to me, I could return to formal learning after college. The benefits I wanted from a secular college—the world-class secular education, the exposure to truly diverse people and ideas, the active Jewish community—were things I could never get in the same way after college, and were too important to me to give up. I postponed the formal learning I wanted for other experiences I wanted, and though I know not everyone can spend two years learning after college, everyone can find her own balance.
I cherish the experiences I had at secular college; they shaped the way I see the world, and I absolutely made the right decision(s) for me. But again, this decision is deeply personal. Only you know what will inspire you and what environment feels right for you. So think carefully, and remember: no decision is ever final!
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