Bakashot on Shabbos

I wanted to add some thoughts about Daniella’s questions about bakashot on Shabbos, in addition to Ms. Gordon’s post. First of all, I don’t think there is a problem with asking Hashem for guidance or for help in spiritual matters on Shabbos. For example, the Yehi Ratzon that many women say immediately after lighting Shabbos candles contains a bakasha that one’s children grow up to be yarei Hashem and talmidei chachamim. We ask in Shmoneh Esrei “v’taher libenu l’avdecha b’emet”—that Hashem purify our hearts to serve Him in truth. I think it is fine to ask for siyata deshmaya in learning and religious growth. To my understanding, the bakashot that are problematic on Shabbos are those of a more practical nature.

I also think it is important to understand the conceptual reason that we do not make bakashot on Shabbos. At the end of the sixth day of creation, Hashem looked at all that He had created and it was “tov me’od.” I think that on Shabbos, we are meant to look around at our world and focus not on the imperfections and on the work yet to be done but on the overall beauty of our lives. Rav Hutner, in the sefer Pachad Yitzchak, develops the themes of Shabbos as they are articulated in the shir shel yom of Shabbos. One of the opening pesukim of the mizmor is “lehagid baboker chasdecha v’emunatcha baleilot.” Symbolically, this pasuk refers to the importance of recognizing Hashem’s goodness both when His blessings are clear and immediately apparent and when they are more obscured. The mizmor goes on to discuss the problem of rasha v’tov lo and tzaddik v’ra lo, and asserts that ultimately Hashem acts justly. Even though there are reshaim who “flourish like the grass,” the mizmor contends that Hashem will ultimately punish the wicked and bless the righteous. At first glance, the problem of rasha v’tov lo doesn’t seem to have anything in particular to do with Shabbos. Rav Hutner suggests that this is related to the concept of “lehagid baboker chasdecha ve’emunatcha baleilot” because Shabbos is an opportunity to recognize Hashem’s ultimate goodness and justice even when we encounter a reality that is imperfect and unfair.

In other words, the way I understand the reason we don’t make bakashot on Shabbos is that we are encouraged to relate to Hashem in a different way on Shabbos than during the rest of the week. Shabbos is intended to instill in us a certain serenity, appreciation, and gratitude. This is what I think oneg Shabbos refers to.

Of course, in all of these matters, it is important to have empathy when people are in situations that make it impossible for them to achieve this type of serenity and acceptance. A close friend of mine once told me that shortly after her mother died, she began crying in shul on Shabbos and a friend told her that she shouldn’t cry because it was Shabbos. Of course, that only made her feel worse because, in addition to feeling grief at the death of her mother, she now felt guilty for crying on Shabbos and misunderstood by her friend.

Personally, I find it extremely difficult to achieve this type of serenity on Shabbos, even in the absence (baruch Hashem) of major problems, since I find that I have more time to think on Shabbos and therefore sometimes dwell on problems on Shabbos rather than looking beyond them. But I still think the ideal is to see Shabbos as a time when we do our best to look at the world Hashem has given us and appreciate everything that is right about it.